Main Course, Sandwiches, Tips

A Gourmet Cheezeburger

Get fancy with the grill. Next time you order a cheeseburger, bring your friendly GRLLMSTR a sliced up Granny Smith (a green apple, silly) and ask for a cheeseburger with cheddar. If you want a condiment on that burger, steer away from ketchup or bbq sauce. Go for DIJON mustard and/or honey. Nom nom nom.

Main Course, Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Asian Tuna Salad

An asian twist on a college staple. This isn’t for everyone, but give it a try if you’re into exotic shit.

Asian Tuna Salad adapted from here


a spoonful of mayonnaise

a spoonful of chili paste or sriracha

a spoonful of soy sauce

a spoonful of honey

a squeeze of lime (if your dining hall magically happens to have them…)

a spoonful of minced ginger (hello stir fry line)

a bowl of tuna (the plain kind, usually at the salad bar)

some grated carrots

some chopped onions

some cilantro (check out the stir fry line)

some craisins


Mix the first six ingredients in a bowl for your dressing (yes you can count, yes I’m a lazy fuck). Dump everything else in there. Mix it all up realllll good. Chow down.

Note: Like any salad, you can put this between 2 slices of bread (or TOAST) and you gotchurself a great sandwich.

Main Course, Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Taco Lettuce Wraps

Don’t like break? What the hell is wrong with you. Well that’s okay, here’s a “sandwich” you can make sans le carbs.


a large piece of lettuce (a leaf? Is that what you call them? I really have no fucking clue. look for them at the burger/condiment station thang)

tomatoes (chop these up or slice in strips)

a slice of cheddar (cut into strips)

chicken (grab some from the buffet line and scrape off whatever sauce is on there, and slice)

chickpeas or kidney beans (or if black beans are available GET THOSE THEY ARE SO YUMMY)

onions (chop them up too)


guacamole (optional)


Slice up all ingredients that need to be sliced. Place your lettuce on a plate and dump tomatoes, cheese, chicken, beans, onions and salsa all up in there. Make sure you leave enough room to “wrap” the lettuce-taco-thing up. Dip in guacamole if desired.

Note: For a BURRITO wrap, add some rice!

Main Course

Revamped Buffalo Chicken

They’re serving some chicken breast dish. It looks meh. So scrape that sauce off and revamp this shit.


1 chicken breast taken from a dining hall dish (or whatever cut you want)

5 spoonfuls of hot sauce (Frank’s is great, Tabasco works too)

2 spoonfuls of blue cheese or blue cheese dressing (if you’re salad bar has crumbled blue cheese then you are golden)


Scrape off the chicken’s original sauce with a spoon or dull knife. Slice chicken into strips. In a small bowl or coffee mug, mix hot sauce and blue cheese component. Smother your chicken with hot blue cheese sex.

Note: If you can, heat up your sauce in a microwave for 20 seconds. You can also keep the hot sauce and cheese separated. Douse your chicken in hot sauce, and then either crumble blue cheese on top or use blue cheese dressing as a dipping sauce. You can also replace blue cheese dressing with ranch.