Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Chicken Salad

We did faux, so now it’s time for the real deal, bitchez.

Ingredients:

chicken (remove any piece of chicken, preferably on the bone, from anything on the buffet line and scrape off the sauce)

an apple (GREEN PLEASE)

chopped celery

spoonful of mayonnaise

spoonful of dijon mustard

craisins

pepper

Instructions:

Get your chicken from the buffet line. If they have chicken on the bone, then GREAT. Cut up your chicken into little pieces, you can even shred it with your fork, and place in a bowl. Chop up your apple and celery and toss that in along with the craisins. Mix in your mayo and mustard. Top off with a little pepper. Fuckyeahchickensalad. Put her in a sandwich if your heart so desires.

 

 

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Main Course, Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Asian Tuna Salad

An asian twist on a college staple. This isn’t for everyone, but give it a try if you’re into exotic shit.

Asian Tuna Salad adapted from here

Ingredients:

a spoonful of mayonnaise

a spoonful of chili paste or sriracha

a spoonful of soy sauce

a spoonful of honey

a squeeze of lime (if your dining hall magically happens to have them…)

a spoonful of minced ginger (hello stir fry line)

a bowl of tuna (the plain kind, usually at the salad bar)

some grated carrots

some chopped onions

some cilantro (check out the stir fry line)

some craisins

Instructions:

Mix the first six ingredients in a bowl for your dressing (yes you can count, yes I’m a lazy fuck). Dump everything else in there. Mix it all up realllll good. Chow down.

Note: Like any salad, you can put this between 2 slices of bread (or TOAST) and you gotchurself a great sandwich.

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Salads and Dressings

Crunchy Purple Salad

I just had my wisdom teeth out this weekend and I can’t fucking wait to eat crunchy things again. Sweet Jesus I miss my salads. Here’s a colorful crunchy salad to put that red cabbage from the stir-fry line to good use.

Ingredients:

chopped red cabbage (check out the stir-fry bar if you can’t find it at the salad bar)

1 GREEN apple (no substitutions here, you need that tartness)

a handful of nuts or seeds (walnuts work best, but whatever will still be yummy)

1 part dijon mustard (the REAL mustard, not the neon French’s)

1 part red wine vinegar (it’s the translucent dark red one, but balsamic will work too)

1 part olive oil

1 part raspberry jam (if you can find this. If not, skip the jam altogether.)

Instructions:

Combine mustard, vinegar, oil, and jam if using in a bowl, and put aside. With a sharp-ass knife, slice your apple into very thin strips. Throw cabbage, apple, and nut/seeds into a bowl.  Toss your salad with that gorgeous dressing.

Note: Try topping this off with slice grilled chicken.

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Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Faux Chick(pea)en Salad

Chicken Salad is a great thing. Here’s a simple and healthy imitation to try out.

Ingredients:

a cup of chickpeas

cranberries

celery (chop it up)

half of an apple, chopped (GREEN PLEASE)

some sort of seeds or nuts (walnuts if available)

avocado (optional)

a spoonful of mayonnaise (optional)

Instructions:

Using a fork, mash the chickpeas up in a bowl. If using avocado, mash that in now. Add cranberries, chopped celery, chopped apple, and seed/nuts and stir. If using mayonnaise, stir that shit in. Thereyougo.

Note: This is good all on its own, or you can put it in a sandwich/pita with some lettuce on top.

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Main Course, Salads and Dressings, Sandwiches

Taco Lettuce Wraps

Don’t like break? What the hell is wrong with you. Well that’s okay, here’s a “sandwich” you can make sans le carbs.

Ingredients:

a large piece of lettuce (a leaf? Is that what you call them? I really have no fucking clue. look for them at the burger/condiment station thang)

tomatoes (chop these up or slice in strips)

a slice of cheddar (cut into strips)

chicken (grab some from the buffet line and scrape off whatever sauce is on there, and slice)

chickpeas or kidney beans (or if black beans are available GET THOSE THEY ARE SO YUMMY)

onions (chop them up too)

salsa

guacamole (optional)

Instructions:

Slice up all ingredients that need to be sliced. Place your lettuce on a plate and dump tomatoes, cheese, chicken, beans, onions and salsa all up in there. Make sure you leave enough room to “wrap” the lettuce-taco-thing up. Dip in guacamole if desired.

Note: For a BURRITO wrap, add some rice!

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Salads and Dressings

Potato Salad Two Ways

I fucking love watching Food Network. Here are two potato salads adapted from Food Network family members Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) and Tyler Florence.

Potato Salad à la Garten

Ingredients:

diced potatoes (check the buffet line for any kind of cooked potatoes you can find)

chopped onions

chopped celery

2 spoonfuls of mayonnaise

1 spoonful of dijon mustard (the non-neon-scary-yellow kind)

a dash of salt and pepper (optional)

Instructions:

Slice up and put your potatoes, onions and celery in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix mayonnaise and mustard together. Pour over potato mixture and toss. Add salt and pepper if needed.

Potato Salad à la Florence

Ingredients:

diced potatoes (check the buffet line for any kind of cooked potatoes you can find)

2 hard boiled eggs

chopped onions

2 chopped pickles (or a spoonful of relish)

2 spoonfuls of mayonnaise

1 spoonful of dijon mustard (the non-neon-scary-yellow kind)

a dash of pepper

olive oil

Instructions:

Dice your eggs and potatoes, chop those onions up, and place in a bowl. In a separate bowl, mix pickles/relish, mayonnaise, mustard and pepper. Toss eggs/potatoes/onions in dressing. Drizzle some olive oil on top. Put some fancy pants on and enjoy.

 

 

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Salads and Dressings

Balsamic Watermelon Salad (a twist on Greek Salad)

This is a gourmet blog, so get ready for some gourmet shit. You shouldn’t be afraid to be adventurous with your food.

Ingredients:

cubed watermelon

balsamic vinegar (about 1oz/a shot)

pinch of sugar

feta cheese

Instructions:

In a mug, stir balsamic vinegar and sugar. If available, heat in microwave for 15-20 seconds. Let cool. Put watermelon and feta cheese in a bowl/on a plate. Drizzle balsamic mix on top. Yumm.

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